In The i Tetralogy I use a quotation from Kazantzakis’ Report to Greco in at least two places. It reads: “Overdraw me, Lord, and who cares if I break!” It all comes to rest in that sterling quotation mark. It is one of three quotations that Kazantzakis uses in the first pages of his extraordinary autobiographical confession, probably the best of the Twentieth Century, some ranking it with St. Augustine’s. The concept of transcendence inflamed my spirit for a long while, going as far back as the earlier 70s. So this genius touched me with his challenges for living a spiritual as well as earthy — not earthly — existence.
Often I share the following anecdote with writing classes and I did this with clients when I was practicing. Kazantzakis relates when he was a young boy, perhaps eight or nine, that he went out to see his grandfather on the veranda overlooking the Mediterranean. Here, his grandfather, a Cretan, not a Greek, was wearing a fez, eating black olives and feta cheese for breakfast. One senses that the grandfather was a canny, worldly-wise old gentleman who had observed the human race and had made some judgements about it. He had lived!
Nikos says to his grandfather that he has a question that has been nagging him for some time now. One must remember that he was very young. The grandfather told him to sit and to tell him his concerns. Kazantzakis relates how he told the old gentleman: “Give me a task in life, grandfather.” Without flicking one hair of his handlebar mustache, the grandfather listened intently — one must consider whether or not he was taken aback by such an astute question by one so young. He considered what was asked and then said to Nikos, “Reach what you can.”
Kazantzakis heard him well and left. During that night he relates how he was restless and could not sleep, as if a dog trying to shake off the wet after being in the rain. The following morning Nikos returned to his grandfather at the same place. “Grandfather,” I don’t like the task you gave me. Give me another.” Once again, we must consider what was going through the grandfather’s mind, what feelings, what impressions he had. Grandfather took in what Nikos said, and he considered again. “Nikos, reach what you cannot.” With that Kazantzakis writes that he felt congruent, that the injunction was right for him.
In Pages you can find the three prayers of Kazantzakis; however, I am reporting an experience that a genius had, a spiritual genius, who sought transcendence for much of his life — see The Last Temptation of Christ and St. Francis. I believe we need to clarify for ourselves whether we choose reach what you can, or reach what you cannot; that we choose up sides, figure out costs, choose (!) and act (!). Often we go throughout life without posing or asking ourselves telling questions. We are spendthrifts with existence, we use it badly. I struggle with reach what you cannot all the time. No, I will not end up transfigured on a cross, but the struggle, dear reader, the struggle has made my life richer — and dearer.
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