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     Take a pad and pen and try to express yourself in short sentences or phrases. A computer is disallowed! Often when we uncensor ourselves we can allow what we know/feel and know/think bubble into the conscious mind. The sample below was done over a period of days.

     Am I growing old if inside I feel no time or tense, just me, the comfortable old shoe I’ve worn for decades? Yes, time does not lie. The body ages. We wear down. So, what is one to do? If one does nothing, whatever befalls you will happen. If you intercede, you may do things to stave off old age, but not much. If you can’t stop aging, like you can’t stop youth being youth, what conclusion can one reach? Go with it. It is inevitable. Accommodate and adjust. . .are there other choices than these?

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     How do you handle the inevitable? Some of us look the other way. Some deny it daily. Some just live like a weed lives — aimlessly. Some of us are like fixtures — we just fill in space, like a fire escape bolted onto an outside wall.

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     It takes awareness to live, an awakening of intelligence, Krishnamurti called it. Otherwise we wake up one day depressed and filled with despair for, at least, chronologically, our lives are spent.

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     Time is infinite if one lives profoundly in the moment. Since we usually flee our inner selves, any thing transformational is generally avoided. Our inner rooms are vacant, the apartment is for let.

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     It is no wonder that the parade we see through the media is of emptiness. It is hard, hard indeed, to work on one’s self in the sense of insight, intuition and intellection as well as feelings.

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     Our outer selves interact a great deal with the outer world. Cars are driven.  Buildings  erected. Wars begin. Systems conceived and manned. Monopolies form. Thing go bump. All this accomplished in large part by the living husks of non-living souls.

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     We are unusual creatures. We can live our lives externally, effectively and interactively and arrive at our day of dying vastly unknown to ourselves,

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     For many to live deeply is a tiresome effort, for it “accomplishes” little in the external world.

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     We are very much into crowding our existences with paraphernalia.

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     One feels very much isolated if one feels the world is awry, in complex error. So much works against the individual who is of a spiritual or philosophical bent of mind.

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     What a world it is that one feels out of the loop if one chooses not to become computer literate. It is as if a good, a benefit, now becomes a necessity rather than a pleasure or a choice. That which is voluntary converts into the compulsory.

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     In effect, as soon as consciousness dawns and we know ourselves reasonably well, one can say that until we die we are equipped with the potential to see, to be aware. Chronology has nothing to do with it. There are old and young fools.

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     Those who fear death or old age need to be reassured, alas, that awareness, once gained, need not be of long duration. This amounts to greediness. The sustained epiphany does not exist. Like happiness, it is fleeting.

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     Since we may not only live a riddle or a cruel hoax, one just as well might live it intensely. What we are given each day is a wonderment.

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     All societies are essentially corrupt, one teacher opined. If so, our task is to decondition ourselves in order to see through the unreal to the real, authentic and true!

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     Do you ever feel the feeling that you are not living your life, but like a penny whistle something or someone else is blowing air through you, making their tune, not yours?

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     Most of us, Thoreau said, lead lives of quiet desperation. Have you considered if that is true about you and if so, how does one go about breaking the yoke?

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     We often live time chronologically. But time can be lived durationally, so that it cannot be measured in minutes and hours. Apparently the prophets and poets understood this well. Art is a creation of durational time. Your life can be as well.

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     It is a gross folly to think that existence can be corralled and domesticated. Entrepreneurs fall into this error and make a remarkable show of it — systems; monopolies; globalization. But in the end time and the grim reaper cover it all with earth.

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 . . .   The only curriculum schools should have is how to live one’s life. And since schools are societal conditioners, they teach accommodation and adjustment. Life is never taught, but each one of us can go learn about it if he or she chooses to.

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     Experiment inwardly on seeing the conditioning about you. Observe the subtle efforts to shape you societally — at least try.

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     Which is the greatest fear?: 1. one’s own demise; 2. one’s inability to live life well. Consider well. Then choose. It may make a difference in your life.

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     Now strike out on your own. Write out your feelings and observations as they come to you. You may come upon a self-nugget of some worth.